I Iz A Crack Ho

Have I mentioned my insane fear of the dentist? The fear that is so bad that my hands start sweating just at the mention of dentist? The fear that is so overwhelming I must feel like my tooth is going to explode and take along half my jawbone with it before I will go in?

When I was little - about 3 or so - I had a family dentist who didn't believe in using novacaine for some of the pesky "little" cavities. Yep, thats right, he'd drill my teeth sans anesthesia all while singing "Ki-Ki-Ki-Katy". Naturally, the dentist became equated with pain to me.

Then, at the tender age of 13, I performed a spectacular circus stunt over the front handlebars of my bike. This spectacular stunt involved my face taking the full impact into the concrete. Oh the joy of braces to hold my teeth in and a summer filled with dental appointments.

Needless to say, those two events started as a nasty little seed of fear that has since grown into the size of oh I don't know, the planet Venus. I have to be HURTING and hurting badly to go to the dentist. Then, it had been so long, that the fear combined with embarassment to prevent me from crossing the threshhold of a dental office!

About 6 months ago, a filling fell out. Since it didn't hurt, I didn't go to the dentist. The small opening became larger but still didn't hurt. The logical, not insane part of me knew I needed to go in but the absolutely whacked out nutjob part kept insisting it was fine. Then the damn thing started hurting - on a weekend of course - so I dealt with the pain because "it wasn't that bad" and sure enough, it eventually stopped hurting but then this large tender lump started to appear on my gumline above this tooth.

Anyone guess absess? You win the prize! Still, I did not go to the dentist. I did not go in until I read that an untreated absess can cause bone deterioration and could lead to jaw surgery. HELLO! That got my attention!

So, I made the appointment - explained what a wuss I am and perhaps even shed a few tears - and went in to find out that I needed the tooth pulled. Today was the big day. Since it was one of my first molars, I now look like a toothless crack whore.

On the plus side, I did make an appointment for a check up and they actually put in the computer that I cannot call to cancel (because that is how I roll) and once I get the lowdown on all the work (ie: cost) involved in my mouth, I'll go back and do the cosmetic part of getting my crack ho hole filled. I'm thinking I'll pimp out the mouth with a nice gold molar.......