Monday, October 27, 2008

Into The Rabbit Hole

Since Hubby has been watching the World Series - a World Series I am totally boycotting in spite of my love of baseball, a World Series we aren't talking about since the Sox C-H-O-K-E-D - I've been forced into the bedroom to find whatever I can on television. Let me tell you, its been slim pickings. The good side, I've been catching up with my reading.

At any rate, I was flipping channels last night and happened to catch another Duggar show. Thinking it was another of their specials, I started watching and quickly - oh so quickly - got sucked into the newest Duggar Vortex. 17 Kids and Counting.

Now, I think these people are freaking certifiable. I have enough trouble with 3 kids. I'm also a little (ok more than a little) freaked out by their lifestyle. There is just something about their family. The girls all dressed in skirts and long long hair. The boys in khakis and polos. The constant religious aspect. The homeschooling. I know there are people who read this who homeschool *cough*Tina*cough* and I truly do say to each their own but, when you add homeschooling to this family. At any rate, I think you get the point that I think they are strange.

OK - I'll say it. They flat out piss me off. They have all these kids and say that its "God's Will" but as far as I can see from watching any of the shows, they don't raise all these kids. Each little kid is assigned a buddy - an older sibling - to help care for them. To me, you are forcing these kids to become parents. If you want to have 100 kids, GREAT! Have them! BUT, I think you have to be prepared to raise them yourself. Your children didn't have these kids - you did!

Now, I feel better getting that off my chest. I'm sure there are those who will not agree with me and that's ok. That's what makes this country great - we can all have our own asshole opinion.

However, in watching one of the episodes last night, I was left totally speechless. And for anyone who doesn't know me, that doesn't happen often. The Duggar's oldest son has a girlfriend. One he wants to start dating seriously. What does he do? He calls the girl's parents and asks if he can have her hand in marriage so that they can date seriously. OK - strange but I get all that. He flies to Florida and proposes and then...he hugs her. He later explains that they will not kiss until their wedding. What the HELL??? I get the no sex thing. I can even respect that. I couldn't do it but I do get it. I even understand the engagement thing. What I don't understand is, you are 20 years old, you've asked this woman to marry you and all you can do with her is hug her and hold her hand? That, I do NOT get.

You will notice that I tend to shy away from 2 things on this blog - politics (I'm a democrat) and religion (I'm a Catholic) since both are pretty personal things and both are things that you generally will not change someones mind on. The Duggars fall into my no religion rule but I just had to blog about this. I give them a lot of credit in that they seem a very happy cult family but, I do also believe in all things in moderation. I'm pretty sure God wouldn't keep them out of Heaven for kissing.

**stepping down from my soapbox with the promise to return to regularly scheduled programming**

Monday, October 20, 2008


We are NOT going to discuss the Red Sox.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Law and Order: SVU

In the criminal justice system, sexually based offenses are considered especially heinous. In New York City, the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies are members of an elite squad known as the Special Victims Unit. These are their stories.

Kelly and I were watching an old episode of SVU last night. During the opening credits (as above) she turned to me and said, "Isn't heinous a bad word?"

I said no, it means horrible. She paused for a moment digesting this information. Then she said, "Well isn't the word like heinous a bad word?"

I'm sitting there trying to puzzle out a synonymn for heinous that could be a bad word and getting no where so I ask her what word she means.

She says, "Like heinous but without the h".

I'll give you a minute to sound it out in my head like I did last night.

**cue the Jepoardy music**

Did you come up with anus? Did you laugh?

Apparently Frank, who's really smart, told Kelly that anus was a bad word. I disagree with Frank's level of smartness since he thought anus was a bad word. Once I explained to Kelly that anus was the anatomically correct way to say poop chute, I think she wishes she'd stayed in the dark and never asked....

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Abby the Explorer

Abby is addicted to a few shows - Onder Pets, Ongebob, Ora, Boos Clues to name a few (Let me know if anyone needs the translations to those titles as they are in Abbaese). As a matter of fact, she's behind me now, buck ass naked, singing about Eam Ork (Teamwork) as she watches the Wonder Pets.

This weekend, I found out just how much she's addicted to these shows. She was sitting on her potty (don't ask how that's going...she'll sit on it until she has to go then gets up and shits or pees on the floor) and I was talking to Kelly. I was listening to Abby with half an ear when I though I heard uno. Thinking that she babbles a lot and I wasn't paying total attention to her, I just assumed I misunderstood.

Then, I heard tres, cinqo, ocho. After I picked my jaw up from the shock, I shushed Kelly and told her to listen. I'll be damned if she didn't count to 8 in Spanish. All of the numbers correct. My favorite is ocho because of the way she says it, OOOOOOOCHO.

On a side note, anyone have any tips on potty training? She won't keep a diaper on (especially if she poops in it) yet, short of superglueing her ass to the potty, she won't stay on that either. What's worse is, she makes sure to tell us as soon as she goes on the floor. I'm thinking she'll be in diapers til she's 21 at this rate....

Monday, October 6, 2008

Houston....We Have a Problem

Hubby and I have been tossing around when would be the right time to convert Abby's crib into a toddler bed. We've been in no rush to do it since the crib has kept her nice and contained. As a matter of fact, I threw her in there about 11 am on Saturday because she was being real whiney and difficult. I figured it was close enough to nap time. Somehow, when I left the room, I shut the door all the way. After about 5 minutes of her screaming, I told Kelly to go and get her up as she obviously wasn't ready to nap.

Kelly opens her door and I hear, "How did you get out?". I knew it was trouble right then and there. I go down to the Demon's room and sure enough, she is free from her cage. I put her back in and told her to show Mommy how she got out and she sure did!

Please excuse the Wal-Martz look of a diaper and a t-shirt, we are also working on potty training.

Almost over....Just a bit further

"Ha Ha! Thought you could keep me in here did you???"

I imagine that we'll be on the news shortly about some wild looking child wearing only a diaper and a t-shirt found wandering up and down our street.