Saturday, August 16, 2008

Holy Vicodin Batman

Did you know that dentist prescribe Vicodin? No? Neither did I - until yesterday that is.

Let me set the scene -

3:30 pm: Grown woman who looks like she is about to cry and beg for her mama is sitting in the waiting room of the oral surgeon's office.

3:45 pm: Grown woman is contemplating making a break for it but seems to notice the receptionist eyeing her and sending the message that if she moves she will be taken down WWE style.

4:00 pm: Grown woman finally called back. Takes the long walk and imagines the dental assistant shouting, "Dead Woman Walking" as they make their way back to the office. Palms are now sweating and face is dead white.

4:05 pm: Grown woman sits in the chair...imagines this is what the electric chair feels like.

4:10 pm: Injections begin. Injections hurt. A tear or two might slip from grown woman's eye. Dentist discusses also using a long lasting local anesthic. Grown woman heartily agrees.

4:20 pm: Dentist injects the long lasting local. Injections still hurt. Grown woman begins to worry even more. Current blood pressure reading at 165/105 (Her normal is 112/67)

4:30 pm: Dentist begins. Grown woman winces and makes ouchie noises. Dentist asks what she feels. After debating kicking him in the crotch, grown woman answers, PAIN. More local anesthetic is applied. Whole bottom of woman's face is now numb.

4:40 pm: Mild discomfort as left bottom wisdom tooth is removed. Deep breaths.

4:50 pm: Definite pain and more tears as bottom right wisdom tooth is removed. Just as grown woman is ready to start yelling like a bitch, dentist announces tooth is out. Grown woman is very happy.

5:00 pm: Stiches and gauze applied. Teeth are examined. YUCK. Dentist asks grown woman if she wants her teeth to which grown woman replies that she might be a little old for the tooth fairy.

6:00 pm: Quick trip to Wal-Mart for soft food and soup and Vicodin.

7:00 pm: Back home. Grown woman gets into pajamas and makes soup. Discovers that it hurts to eat. Decides to take a Vicodin as pain is getting pretty bad.

8:00 pm: Woman out cold in bed. Does not see the light of day again until this morning.

Now, I feel like a chipmunk and my whole lower jaw hurts. I did wake up to find that my wonderful Hubby had cleaned the bathroom and kitchen so he's kinda my favorite person right now.


Sasha said...

Bless your heart! I'm glad you made it through- I know how much you hate the dentist.

Hope you are resting and watching some good TV and milking this for all it's worth- maybe Mr. Kate will do some laundry too?

Kate said...

Thanks, Sasha! I'm still hurting today and added to the glamourous look is the fact that my cheeks are swollen.

Mr Kate is always on laundry duty (hee hee I said doody) But he stepped it up a notch and cleaned the kitchen and the bathroom. He gets a pass on bad behavior for a few days! :D

Smoochiefrog said...

There you are!

Sorry I'm a little late popping in. It was a busy week last week and so far this week too. :)

I'm glad you got some good drugs. They really do work great don't they? Take care and I hope the swelling has gone down by now.

Jennifer said...

oh no, that doesn't sound like fun. I truly hate the dentist--and it gets worse each year!

Vicodin Prescription Medication said...

My name is Marcy Barnes and i would like to show you my personal experience with Vicodin.

I am 23 years old. Have been on Vicodin for 3 months now. Is very relaxing, is the perfect medice for pain and eit calms you and mellows you down the best

I have experienced some of these side effects -
constipation, dependecy, nausea and stomach pain at morning.

I hope this information will be useful to others,
Marcy Barnes