Sunday, March 16, 2008

Who Needs Drivers Ed?

I'm sure I've mentioned approximately 1 billion times, that Shaggy is almost 17 (less than one month as he informed me this morning...mental note to self: Easter gifts, Shaggy's Birthday and Drama Queen's 13th Birthday all in the next 4 weeks!) Well, unlike most almost 17 year olds, he does NOT have his driver's lisence. You see, Shaggy is a tad on the disorganized side and it tends to affect his grades at school. In a desperate effort to make him more responsible, I told him that he couldn't get a learner's permit until he kept his grades at a minimum of a C. Therefore, he didn't get a permit until AFTER his 16th birthday. Then, in order to get a driver's lisence, the same provisions applied. So, here we are, less than 4 weeks til his birthday and we are just starting to learn to drive.

Before anyone thinks that I am the most evil mother in the world, let me explain. The kid has 4 classes. That's right, F.O.U.R. They do block scheduling at his school and he has 4 classes each quarter. Each year, only 4 of the 8 classes he takes are academic. For instance, this quarter he is taking: Physics, English, Algebra and career center (auto mechanics). But, last semester, he had: History, career center, ROTC, and CAD. Therefore, maintaining a C average, NOT DIFFICULT!

At any rate, driver's ed is fucking expensive....over $300. Ok, some people may not find that expensive but, hell - I can teach him to drive for free! So, that's what I've been doing. And its been going well. Except.....

Last Sunday we were driving down to my work to stop in to change out some printers. I let him drive. He almost drives like the little old man...you know the one, the one who putters along at exactly 19 miles per hour. We were heading up a large hill that has a stop light at the top. We needed to turn left at the light so, most people know you go up the hill, stop at the light, check for traffic then proceed with your left turn with caution. Unless you are Shaggy that is....

Me: Shaggy, you need to go faster or we won't make it up the hill. Going 9 miles per hour is approximately 16 miles under the speed limit.

Slight jump in speed - up to like 11 miles per hour

Me: Shaggy, go!!!

More significant jump in speed - up to like 20 miles per hour

Me: Shaggy, GO GO GO! The light is green so step on it!

Then, Shaggy stomps on the gas peddle and performs a move I think I saw the General Lee do in the Dukes of Hazards. We get to the top of the hill and he yanks the wheel to the left and takes the turn on 2 wheels leaving a trail of rubber behind us. I was simultaneously trying not to shit my pants and vomit while attempting to scream:

DON'T EVER DO THAT AGAIN!!!

His response???

You said, GO so I went!

2 comments:

Smoochiefrog said...

That totally sounds like something D would do! He'll be 16 in May and has zippo interest in getting his license. Hey, am I complaining? Uh, nope!

Anonymous said...

the general lee .... too funny