Monday, April 7, 2008

The Best Weekend EVER

So, in my previous depressing post, I mentioned that Hubby and Baby are out of town. What I didn't mention is, The Queen of All Drama and Shaggy were also out of the house this WHOLE weekend. Yes, folks, you read that right - I had the house to myself for a whole weekend. It was blissful. It was fantastic. It was wonderful. It was so good, I almost don't want them all to come back!

I got to spend 3 nights and 2 days doing whatever I wanted. The freedom. The joy. I could fart at will. I could talk to myself. I could sing loudly and badly. I could dance like Carlton and think I looked great.

About 9 pm on Friday, when I realized I had a whole weekend ahead of just myself, I stood in the middle of the living room and threw my hands in the air and yelled, "FREEEEEEEEEEEEEDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM". Yep, just like Mel from Braveheart but without all the torture. I spent hours doing what I wanted. They consisted of:

1. Steam Cleaning my carpet in the living room. This was great because I could do it my way without all the hinderance help. I moved furniture (including the entertainment center which almost caused me to poop my pants....that fucker is heavy).

2. Descuzzified my kitchen - including scrubbing down all the cabinets. What's more amazing, the kitchen floor stayed clean ALL weekend. It was amazing. It was a thing of beauty.

3. Removed the drain plug from the bathroom sink and cleaned off accumulated goop (that was the single most disgusting thing ever) and snaked out the drain. Even the pipe sparkles now.

4. Watched approximately 1000 hours of Chick Flicks including: Field of Dreams (is it just me or does that whisper freak anyone else out?), Notting Hill (I'm also just a girl standing in front of a boy asking him to love her....I'm almost crying again now), Dirty Dancing (complete with manic dancing and terrible singing to accompany the movie and cheering loudly at "Nobody puts Baby in the corner") and the General's Daughter (have I mentioned my crush on John Travolta?? OHHHH BABY)

5. Caught up on the 50000000000 hours of CSI Miami I had on the DVR. I've recently discovered this show and love it. I can't watch it with Hubby because he has to mimic Horatio's voice and it makes me giggle.

6. Watched ZERO hours of ESPN, College Basketball, Racing, and Monday Night Raw. Yes, I married a redneck - I'm over it now. Good thing he's cute or he might not have made the cut with his terrible taste in TV. I swear if they made a sport of ants racing up a popsicle stick, he'd watch it.

7. Made Indian food (which in turn gave me gas so this worked out perfectly since Hubby hates Indian and I can't fart in front of him).

8. Lit approximately 3 billion candles over the weekend and had no lights on. So Chicky of me and I loved every second of it.

9. Soaked in the tub with candles, wine and a book with NO ONE standing outside the door to just tell me something or ask if I was almost done.

10. Ok, I can't think of a 10 but the list looked weird ending at 9.

Only 2 more days until chaos returns and brings its buddies, clutter and mess with him.

On a side note, thanks to everyone (all 3 of you) who have commented with your best wishes and also thanks to those of you who read but didn't comment and telecommuted your best wishes for hubby. They truly mean a lot to me and it is great to know there are those out there pulling for us. I'll be sure to keep you all updated on the Great Nut Exam once Hubby returns.


BusyDad said...

Best wishes for an uneventful nut exam :) And may I just say you're cracking me up. So, my take-away from this list is that being at home alone enables you to catch up on all your farting and TV shows. Sounds like heaven to me!

A.D. said...

Hi! I found your blog through Sasha's. I think we may have the same sense of humor because I love the post about the farts, and I too laugh at box jokes. Where I work we have a box room, and people always go in there saying "I'm looking for a small box" or even better "Has anyone seen a really big box?" I can't help but come back with "I really don't think that is appropriate language for the work place!" before I break into giggles! Hope your husband's exam goes well, and I'm adding you to my daily reads (hope that's okay)!

Kate said...

BD: Thanks for the comment and for letting me know that you think I'm funny. It was heaven but unfortunately, the heaven has come to an end.
we are back to a no fart zone and redneck TV!

AD: Box jokes are the best. Our favorites at work are when we are trying to put a roll into the box and it won't fit - always leads to juvenille jokes and lots of giggles! Thanks for adding me!