So, I got up the courage last night to show my blog to my hubby. In typical male fashion, he laughed the hardest at the Fart part in my exercise post. I could probably just do a whole post about farting and he'd think it was hysterical. In the course of his reading, I told him I was going to share the following story:
Once apon a time, there was a single girl who hadn't had sex in a LONG time. Let me stress, A LONG TIME. Like many other people (whether you admit it or not) she was used to, how to say, relieving the stress??? spanking the monkey?? (or does that only work for guys?). She then decided it would be a good idea to get some variety. In the form of toys. Lots of toys.
She discovered that she loved the toys so much. So much so that she used them religiously. No matter how tired.
Well, one night she went to bed and was using the toy. That's all she remembers. Until the next morning. When she woke up and thought "What the fuck is my alarm doing going off on a Saturday"? Followed quickly by "What the fuck is my alarm doing between my legs?" It was the buzzing you see. Once the sleep fog cleared, she realized what had happened. She fell asleep. Yes, asleep with it still going and still in *ahem* place.
Some people would be mortified. Not this girl. This girl with no shame. She found it hysterical.
So, in light of yesterdays rather downcast post, I thought it would be funny to tell one of mine, I mean her, strangest yet strangely funny stories of single life.
The Husband's comment on this story: "How the hell did it stay there all night???" Not so much mortified that she did it but more amazed that she did, and seemingly kinda intrigued. And that is why I love this man...
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5 comments:
Oh good lord- that's hilarious!
Very funny!
Seriously, great story. No one should be afraid to comment! :-)
And I meant to tell you- I read the shampoo bottle too! And my nail polish, conditioner, etc. We are lost long twins....
I think its like Friends...you know when Phoebe would say something totally off the wall and noone knew quite what to say?? To use Ross' line, "The word you are looking for is Anyway..." Mr. Kate came home Friday and the first thing he asked me was...did you add anything to your blog?? Good Lord, I've created a monster. He read the post and laughed and I said, "So is your wife talented or crazy?" His response?? "BOTH!"
Isn't it great that there's pretty much a Friends epi to go w/ every situation? BTW, my faves are always the holiday one- I love the half English Trifle/ half Shepard's pie episode, and also the Holiday Armadillo. But I did not like the Brad Pitt Thangsgiving episode. DH and I always say "Tastes like Feet!" and die laughing!
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