Monday, October 1, 2007

Bowling For Dummines

My parents got married when I was 5. My dad had just joined the Air Force and they packed up a U-Haul and moved from Rhode Island to Texas (their 1st duty station). They didn't have much money so for their weekly "date" night, I got to tag along to the base bowling alley while they bowled on a league. I didn't mind at all. You see, I was totally enchanted by the fact that I now had a daddy since my mom had been a single mom til that point. My dad rocked! Ok Ok, so did my mom but I was used to her...she was "old news". At any rate, back to bowling....

Going to the bowling alley was great. All the adults used to slip me quarters to play video games (which to us "old timers" translates to pinball) and I was allowed to get a soda. That was a big deal. Then on Sunday's, that was family day to go bowling (which actually meant my dad went to practice for league and would let me tag along and throw a few balls). My dad originally taught me the between the legs throw, the stand at the line and swing 3 times and drop throw, and finally a real, live bowling approach. My point? I've been bowling since I was 5.

Fast forward to 35. My parents have recently gotten back into league bowling on a mixed double league. They asked my sister and her fiancee to bowl with them. I have to admit to being a bit peeved. Why wasn't I asked? HMMMPF! My nose was definitely out of joint (I conveniently forgot the fact that we have 3 kids at home, one of which is only 1). Then it happened. I was asked. It was a happy day.

My dad picked me up from work so we could take a little trip to his bowling store and I got all fixed up...ball, bag, and shoes. I was ready. Strike city here I come. I was syked to bowl my first Friday...ready to remember my old glory days of bowling. I was cocky, I was arrogant. This league had better watch out!

Frame 1 - 1 pin, gutter ball
Conversation in my head - its ok, you're just getting used to the ball

Frame 2 - gutter ball, gutter ball
Conversation in my head - Shake it off, you're just rusty

Frame 3 - gutter ball, gutter ball
Conversation in my head - Good Lord, I've lost my mojo

Frame 4 - gutter ball, gutter ball
Conversation in my head - You suck, you jackass!

Frame 5 - gutter ball, gutter ball
Conversation in my head - Why the holy fuck did I want to subject myself to this torture???

Suffice it to say, I did do a bit better. I ended up with a 76 average over 3 games and a WHOPPING 120 handicap - the HIGHEST in the league. As a matter of fact, I was the ONLY person with a 3 digit handicap.

When I got to work Monday, I was asked how bowling went:
ME: I had 1 by the 5th frame.
RESPONSE: One strike?
ME: No, no. ONE PIN.
RESPONSE: It took you 5 frames to knock down one pin???
ME: No, I'm pretty sure I knocked that down with my first ball
RESPONSE: **total silence**

The up side??? I have a pretty new ball that glitters.

PS - There are so many more things you can do with blogger on a PC and when you aren't using Safari and a Mac


Ashley said...

You have come a long way baby!! I'm not talking about bowling (obviously!), I've just caught up on your blog and I LOVE IT!

Keep up the good work! It's been hard for me to check other people's blogs with no computer, so I do apologize for the delay and my lack of commenting. I know you love me anyways.

Keep on keepin' on! You are a great writer.

Tina said...

I swear that we are the same person, just in different parts of the country. I too was a bowling alley kid. Playing the games and hanging out. Charlie & I used to be on a league when we first got married. Now I can't even get my big toe in the ding dang attractive shoes. Oh well. WPBA is so not in my future.