It's October. The time of change. Kids are settled back into school, the weather is turning, time to drag out all the clothes that probably no longer fit (don't even ask how the diet is going because, well, its NOT). Its also time for postseason baseball. Since my beloved BoSox are in, I'm a happy girl. Til I remembered, shit, the husband.
My husband is a sports freak. Well, he's also just a freak but for the sake of this, we'll leave it at sports freak. He would probably watch log throwing if there weren't any other sports on ESPN. Its like his drug. He gets all comfy on the couch and holds the remote in a death grip. Believe me when I say death grip, I've tried to pry it out of his hand. Its a sad sight to watch.
Back to baseball...yayyy the Sox. Now, I'd be content to just watch them play. I don't have to watch every game and then the highlights on ESPN. I don't care. I just want to see my Sox. But, the hubby? He will have to watch EVERY game, especially now that the Phillies are in. Yeah, he's a Philly sports fan....my only small satisfaction that comes out of this is that my Pats beat his Eagles in the Superbowl. When the games are on during the weekend, I'll be anxiously watching to see if his head explodes trying to decide between baseball, football, racing, etc. If he only drank, I'd send him to a sports bar.
The watching sports thing doesn't really bother me because if I really want to watch TV, he'll go watch his crap, I mean sports, in the bedroom. However, his sports obsession does lead to some quirks:
*He gets claw hand from gripping the remote so tightly. I think there is an imprint on his palm that has the serial number from the remote
*He talks to the game. No matter how often I remind him that no matter how LOUDLY he talks, they can't hear him, he still feels the need to chime in his 2 cents on whatever the issue is. He's a couch referee, couch coach, and couch player all rolled into one.
*He gets selective hearing. He has this often but it is especially bad when sports are on. I could stand in front of him buck ass naked and say lets get busy and he'd just lean around me to get a better view of the TV. Now, the selective hearing thing is a big irritant (you reading this my darlin????) When I ask you a question, don't ignore me. When I'm talking to you, don't pretend you are listening until some key point catches your attention and then say, "Now, what was that?". Furthermore, don't get all pissy that you aren't told anything when very often, you are told but you don't listen. You know its true!
As much as his sports obsession irritates the living piss out of me, he's a great guy. With a few exceptions. I might be crass in my writing but in some instances, he totally lacks social graces. For example:
*When you have to sit on the floor in the living room to eat over the coffee table like its a giant tv tray, it is NOT funny to fart and see how loudly you can make the wood floors rumble. Yes, I'm sure Sean can hear it in the basement. Do not laugh like you are 3 at this antic.
*When you fart and it stinks, it is NOT funny to wait til someone smells it and then laugh when they are gagging (usually me).
*When we are in the Wal Mart parking lot, it is NOT funny to go into a mini plie and let one rip as people are walking unsuspectingly to their car (ok that one was funny but only because you didn't realize they were walking to the car and the looks they gave you)
*When we are in Wal Mart, it is not funny to fart near me and walk away so the other shoppers think I can't control MY bodily functions.
Lest this sounds like he's a rude and disgusting jerk, let me tell you about his good.
*He's hot (at least to me). After all our time together, I still find him sexy and I love it when he shows affection.
*He's awesome with Abby. He gets up with her in the mornings and gets her ready so that I can sleep in for an extra half hour and I gotta say, he usually gets up with her on the weekends too.
*He will do whatever I ask. One thing I've learned is, don't drop hints. Most men, won't pick up a hint BUT if you ask them to do something, they will. He knows I hate to mop so he will do that most every weekend and he does the laundry. He even cooks during the week. I forget to tell him often how much I appreciate all that he does.
*He thinks I'm beautiful no matter what. Although he doesn't tell me that as much as he used to, I know he still thinks it.
*I can tell him anything. And, I do mean ANYTHING. We had a great conversation last night about who we think is hot. He knows my "Toy Story". We talk about sex, masturbation, fantasies, and all the other normal stuff.
*My kids love him to pieces. He is their dad. He is just a out and out great father to all the kids.
*On the important things, he does listen (yes, even when it seems he's not). From different things, I can tell he thinks about what I've said and tries to improve.
There isn't much I'd change about him at all. I know he's not perfect but I don't want him to be. He accepts me for all my postives and negatives and loves me in spite of the many negatives. Every day life gets in our way sometimes and we both take each other for granted but at the end of the day, all is not right with my world unless he's in it. He knows about this blog, knows he's going get bitched about (I told him) and doesn't mind. Now, thats love!
So, to my beloved husband....thank you for coming into my life. Thank you for loving me for me. Thank you for healing my broken heart and making me whole again. Thank you for being my best friend in the whole world. For our yesterdays, our todays and for all our tomorrows I love you. (Just remember this the next time you want to be irritated with me! :D)