Digital Cable 101

There was a night when Hubby and I were home alone. Both the older kids were off where ever it is they go (probably drinking and doing drugs) and the baby was with her grandparents being fed foods that were easily identifiable the next day (Thanks a freaking bunch, Mom and Dad!!!) What did we do? Go out all night and party? NO...but there were excuses reasons for that:

1. We have a severage shortage of funds in Casa de Momma Rules
2. We're old and the party scene just isn't our thing
3. My feet hurt and I wanted to get out of my girdle capris

So, off to home we went. At approximately 9pm at night. On a Saturday. On the night we were celebrating our Anniversary. Sad, yes, yes we are! At this point, you're point you're probably wondering:

1. How is this funny?
2. Is all the other shit she writes totally fictitious because they sound worse than my grandparents?
3. What the hell is the point to this rambling story?

I'll get to the point. We decided to watch a movie. Alas, (yes I really used the word Alas) there weren't any good movies on pay-per-view. Which led to us feeling old, dried up, and boring. So, Hubby thought it would be funny to scroll through the Naughty channels. Actually, I think he was testing to see if I'd say lets order one. We tried watching the previews but no dice. They don't show them on the Naughty Channels. We tried reading the overview but again, they were more boring than Hubby's Nascar book. We thought about ordering one but Holy Hell, $12.00 is a lot of money. You see, we thought we were getting a 90 minute movie. For $12. Not cool.

Then we started laughing at the channels. Did you know there are Spanish Naughty channels? A Sci-Fi Naughty? If you've got a freaky fetish (ummm yeah, I do), there is a channel for you. We started wondering what might be shown on these. In the course of this, Hubby accidentally ordered a channel. At least that's his story and he's sticking to it. I tend to believe him since we aren't Sci-Fi buffs and there is NOTHING sexy about Mr. Spock, complete with pointy ears, in a porno. We spent 10 minutes trying to cancel it. No dice there either. We laughed and then laughed some more. Especially at Mr. Spock's climax when he shot what appeared to be green pudding from his wanger. Then something miraculous occurred. The story changed. It was good, old fashioned porn.

So, you see, all's well that end's well and all ended VERY well that night! And for those of you who may have considered this purchase and been put off by the price, apparently you get it for like 12 hours.